Holistic Living in Health, Fitness & Medicine

Random Update

Lines have been running through my mind. I don’t know why I don’t use this more often. Those who know me know I’ve been going through a lot lately, and rather than disclosing every detail, I will just go.

So this past summer has been nuts. I was taking an intensive acting course, Meisner 1 in Berkeley and studying Chinese medicine in San Francisco simultaneously. I have never been so emotionally f*cked with ever in my whole entire life. I reached a really shitty dark place, though at the same time, somehow helped me shed a layer and remember more of my old self, like falling into another ego once inhabited. That being said, I feel more child like and straightforward. I have a feeling my natural inclination is to be blunt. I like to think I channel those feels through modeling and writing. I hide behind an image and words,…sort of, I guess it’s all a matter of how you look at it. Which is probably why my acting teacher told me to practice being more direct. In ways I have not found my voice orally so I channel that in other communication avenues.

Though I hope to expand my relatedness through my voice. I’ve contemplated doing a blog talk radio or youtube. I started it and then I stopped. I dunno,…I think it’s kind of weird to look at yourself when talking. I have this urge to talk about health, this is why I started this website. And I know it’s been rather inconsistent, a parallel to my life, experiences is bringing forth a cleansing energy, revealing a renewed inspiration for Chinese Medicine.

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Back to medicine

This year has been about soul searching and at the end of every new activity, I find myself turning back to Chinese Medicine. There’s comfort in that, knowing that maybe I am on the right track. Truthfully, considering the nature of certain industries, Chinese medicine or holistic healthcare is one of the most honest. There’s so much corruption that takes away,… say, from the beauty of art. I see myself as an artist and won’t stop exploring it, though my convictions lie in a place where my integrity is not questioned, and there’s center in that because compromise is not really something I’m interested in.

I think interests are worth pursuing to see if something really is fit for you or if you want to fit something into your life. As we are all of different paths, our responsibility is to discover our own truth, our direction that aligns mind, body, and spirit. It’s tough as there is SO MUCH out there, so it seems the challenge is weeding out the bullshit and finding the gem.

Happy Thursday Everybody. =)

I’m about to write about this acupuncture appointment. It is one that has created a paradigm shift which means my neck is a little looser and not so wound. I am humbly acknowledging the blow to my ego.

All which have shown me why I am here, lessons I need to learn, perceptions I have based on my social and cultural conditioning. I apologize.

Who knew that acupuncture school would be a deprogramming, reprogramming, quick start booster to yo life!


Looking back, its as if some mystical magic force was telling me to get a treatment today. I have been thinking way too much.

Life has been really interesting lately, and it is apparent now, how excitement and struggle is a state of the mind, mindset.

Life is a beautiful struggle because you find beauty out of the struggle. Your new found wisdom is the reward.


So the diagnosis was a choppy right pulse and a wiry left post. Red tongue, thin yellow furr, and comments about my skin and Shen not looking so healthy.

My skin has been my number one indicator. I know whats best for it, but the discipline has not been there. I am so ready to recode that word or “that act of partaking” into something positive.

Dr. R told me “You have to change your attitude about life.”

And those words stuck especially coming from him.

In his inquiry he was very direct, and though I described it as rude, I realize that he has shown compassion with a dose of reality my way.

In a group observation, he asked the questions, and administered the most transforming treatment thus far. Because the truth is, acupuncture is able to help heal emotional wounds.

Truthfully right in this moment, I feel renewed.


For the past year and a half I’ve been attending American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine. The best thing about it is getting more in touch with my roots. It’s just so awesome to learn about the medicine, art, and training. It’s so fascinating to learn why Chinese Doctors in China were also very skilled martial artists, artists in calligraphy, Scholars, and deeply deeply spiritual people.

Calligraphy teaches attention to detail within the overall picture. There is wrist control and delicate embrace.

Martial Arts teaches awareness of physical body, mental discipline, and the grace of movement.

I just love how the medicine really branches out into different sectors, though unfortunately, many of these have been de-emphasized in modern Chinese Medicine Study programs.


Dr. R needled my left thumb in an unusual way. It felt as if the needles where going a different route, it was painful, but a pain I knew was good for me. The depth and positioning of the needling felt like a reprogramming of some sorts because at that moment, I began to weep. He asked me if it hurt, and I muttered “no” but began to cry more.

After 15 minutes, one of the students observing came back in to turn the needles which was interesting because I have just been learning about different ways to stimulate the points if conditions are in excess or deficient.

She helped me release more, and told me crying would get the qi to move more.

In retrospect, I’m unsure why this is, but interaction with other Chinese people and asian americans have created so many breakthroughs this year. It’s like the experiences are reflecting back to me how I perceive situations through these cultural, societal, and gender roles I play and how understanding them can help me release them.

My introspection gets the best of me. Dr. R says I think too much, which is true, but the student who came in remedied the comment by saying we are women. So is it a gender thing? Possibly. Maybe the levels of conscious thinking is analogous to women only having babies. Oh yes, I would give a day to experience not thinking so much, and being the same every day. But just one, because I welcome the challenge. To say women are more emotional,…might be a stereotype?

If women are more right brained and men are more left brain, then I would  hypothesize that eons ago, the use of our respectable systems were predicated upon the environments that women and men inhabited.

Environment calls for adaptation and because our physical body environment differs, it interacts with the environment differently. This can extend from a biological to aesthetic adaption. And even though, we may be men inside woman or women inside man, and exist in other cultural narratives, our similarities  share an ideological commonality-the Silverling.

I learned not to be bitter, but understand because we can’t blame anyone for who we or they are. Truthfully there are things I kind of resent about Chinese culture. And I know I shouldn’t have that attitude, but just understand and embrace it and be thankful.

This lesson applies to my life as well. Embrace all that is and have gratitude.




It’s late right now, but I am inspired to write. Sometimes the moment hits me, and I need to clear my head. I’ve realized, more so, analyzing the complexities within my nature that appear to be of opposing forces. Dualities that create the internal conflict and struggle. I wonder if remedy would come about by encompassing all that we are. Perhaps if we choose to explore each, will we find an answer?

There are things that I go back and forth on, things that will fulfill one side of me but also maybe a self deprecating endeavor. Why are all the choices we make so damn substantial?

The yin, the yang, the dark, the light, the body the soul. It’s up to us isn’t it? My friend mentioned to me today, “You can’t serve two masters.” Though in the balancing act of satisfying these complementary and opposing forces-seems to be just that. I admire the people who have stayed true to their altruistic nature, because in this world, it is mighty challenging.

Life is a balancing act, of figuring out what works and doesn’t at a soul level.

The essence of our being from the creation of our kind has gifted this living paradox. It is within all of us. Is it a test to live our highest spiritual purpose and/or to live our earthly happiness?

The interesting thing is that our satisfactions come from various things, thus the complexities of our culture and sub cultures.

And truthfully, I think in the overall picture, things will remain the same in its pattern and cycle, as one side is the catalyst to the other. Until the ever growing consciousness inspires us to follow the divine path that is, and we are able to prioritize altruism, and dissolve greed, power, and fear.

An idealistic thought of contemplation is at least a step though it may not change the world.

Essentially the duality of our nature complements the system, it’s a f*cking strong hold.

So, I try to enjoy life, laugh, a lot, help people how I can, and continue to explore and learn the frameworks of life’s constructs.

Get outside of yourself and focus on how you can address your client’s needs while clearly communicating the movement.


Nowadays, with proliferating images of super fit, toned, ripped bodies on magazines, ads, commercials, gym products, etc, the appealing aesthetic is enough to get anyone motivated to start moving. However, it is essential to address beyond the visual and pay attention to the health benefits of fitness itself.

Lowered blood pressure, better heart health, increased levels of endorphins, mind body awareness, etc.


We need to start from the ground up, laying a fundamental foundation, a preliminary outline that will provide a steady structural framework to build upon. With that being said, it is really important to really observe your client’s abilities and deficiencies such as range of movement, muscular imbalances, flexibility, coordination, balance, and ability to engage the deeper smaller muscles.


Does your client have tightness in certain areas like their lower back, shoulders, and neck? Are their shoulders anteriorly rotated? These are common areas of concern for many people as we sit excessively. This can cause a shortening of the psoas, tight levator scapulae, trapezius, and weak rhomboids, abs, and glutes. If so, focus on working agonist/antagonist muscles to help counteract imbalances. Be mindful of which muscles you choose to train.


I’m all for body sculpting, but I have noticed that certain favored aesthetics may be counter productive to functionality. Overworked and over developed muscles can also lead to imbalance, and may cause simple postural alignment such as putting palms by one’s sides difficult or raising arms above the head in isolation challenging. Moreover, massive bulging muscles which require constant concentric movement can  lead to stagnation, limiting fluid free range movement. What’s the point in training the body if it will inhibit the body’s ability to reach it’s utmost potential? The idea is to get the qi moving through your core all the way to the limbs, not creating restrictive  muscular tissue that prevents the flow.

Weights often give that pump feeling and actually stimulate the “pumped” look. There is nothing wrong with it, but I believe it would be wise to incorporate functional body weight training. If one can move their 100-200 pounds efficiently through life, lifting a 10 pound box will be easy.


Muscular tightness, one’s skeletal structure, and underdeveloped muscles can all contribute to imbalance. I would not suggest building upon or using weight to develop certain muscles if the muscles aren’t activating properly. So before putting on weight to one’s squat game for example, see if they can actually squat with their knees not passing their ankles, or at least close to it. Truthfully, the squat in itself is challenging. If the knees are going over the ankles, then their glutes are not getting activated to its fullest potential, and other leg muscles are overcompensating as a result. If the squat is too difficult, then resort to an even simpler exercise that will teach one how to activate their glutes. The “butt lockout” is really common so in order to get the most from weighted glute exercises, one absolutely must learn how to engage first.


A few things to consider when planning a program: Look at your client’s posture, test their balance, identify underdeveloped muscles and asymmetry, focus on corrective exercise and range of motion, then coordination. Incorporate functional body weight movement. Emphasize proper execution and breathing. I truly believe if one harnesses these abilities, utilizing weights to sculpt and develop muscles will be much more successful in its integration.


Training the body should be used to help one move more efficiently through life with ease, peace, and relaxation. Constant pain and soreness is unnecessary. We want our clients to feel strong, engaged, empowered, sharp with an adrenaline endorphin kick. There is such a thing as doing too much and unfortunately the fitness industry sells this idea that we need to do x,y, z for this perfect sculpted rippled body and optimum health. Let’s look past the superficial, the superficial muscles, and get down to the core because that is where the power is really at.

Of course, everyone will have different goals when it comes to their fitness, though I think it is imperative to train others that will promote longevity and sustainability. As fitness educators, we have the ability to plant that seed that will spur a catalyst of change. There really are no quick fixes to improving one’s health and fitness. It take discipline, dedication, and determination. And as personal trainers, we need be walking the talk.


Beyond the surface laid Discipline, Dedication, and Determination.

Collaboration with Jay Adams

“Fitness is Medicine”


Holistic-Physical, Spiritual, Emotional, Mental-Health

Reflections on Qi Gong

When I do the Qi Gong Practices, I feel it’s power. I sense my connection with the energetic particles around me and visualize the macrocosmic orbit and the healing that is taking place.

I see Qi Gong as esoteric knowledge, knowing that it can truly change perceptions if receptive or retain a skeptic in his place. I think that it chooses rather than the other way around. I perceive at some level, one must have or at least be open to extra sensory abilities.

I favor moving like a pupa as I have spinal deviations especially in my lower cervical and lower lumbar areas which are not fully developed. So as I send energy to these areas, I sense that it stretches the intervertebral disc or creates more space within them. I guess the concept is similar to a stance in Tai Qi that if one holds correct alignment, the vertebra will begin to stack properly. Though knowing this, having a daily practice of pupa is challenging as I favor more of the martial moving aspect of Qi Gong, Tai Qi.

Qi Gong is a great meditation, which helps quiet the mind, relax and strengthen the body simultaneously. In this fast paced world, it seems like the antidote for longevity and healthy living. It forces one to slow down, it forces the internal forces to adapt to the environment, up regulating or down regulating, and preserving our life force. The practice forces you to take time out of the day to nourish yourself.

What I learned most about through Qi Gong is that energy as well as energetic thoughts are extremely powerful, substantial, and communicable. I felt the Qi thrive and warm my hands as well as the place I was putting them on solely due to mental intention. I have seen how the power of thoughts manifest attitudes, influence perception, and create reality. I have seen how one’s energy can shoot distances and effect surrounding energetic bodies.
I believe practicing Qi Gong cultivates one’s sensitivity to energy and thus enables one to transmute the energetic intention however they choose. With all the capabilities it presents, it appears to be a force that can truly alter, reshape, and redefine reality. Thus, I think the practitioner has to be aware of this before in order to really reap the rewards of daily practice. It is life altering because of its transcendence.

Practicing Qi Gong takes me to another dimension so to speak or perhaps my visualization of receiving environmental qi pouring into my body is on another consciousness plane. Nonetheless, the result is energizing and calming, brings peace, and comfort within my being from a holistic standpoint. After practice, I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, more balanced and at ease.


May the Light in me Merry with the Light in you.


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